Track By Tracks: Eloah - Proud To Love You (2023)

Breaking down each track of an album is not something I normally do because I believe in letting the music speak for itself; and I prefer not to dictate how listeners should feel or interpret the instrumental elements, lyrics, or vocals. It might even estrange some listeners who had completely different interpretations of some songs compared to what I provide here – if that is the case, please stick to your own interpretation, do not take mine for the “truth”, because it is not, it is just my opinion, my point of view. Generally, our music is not about what I am writing here, it is what it is, and it should be about what you feel and think when you listen to it. Therefore, a track by track break down contains the danger of diminishing the auditory pleasure – so read with care - but nevertheless, I'll give it a try here:

1. Proud to love you:

When you fall in love, emotions are a turmoil, things are out of balance. In the process of expressing your love and communicating it, you can shift from heaven to hell and back in a fraction of a second, depending on your own thoughts, emotions, and on your interpretation of your lovers’ reactions to you. However, even when it’s all a catastrophe and there is no happy end in sight, happiness can be the prevailing feeling in an actually bad situation – this is what the song “Proud to Love You” is about. It’s not about the glorious future together anymore, it’s not about who hurt whom either – it’s about a form of gratitude that you were allowed to feel what you did, a general “thank you” (to God, the universe, or whatever you believe in) for the present which falling in love actually is.

2. My heart shall be your fire:

If you are in love, and you are happy in love, there are moments of sweetness, of enjoyment, of happiness that appear tacky to someone not in this particular situation. I wrote this song looking at my (then) girlfriend falling asleep on the couch after watching TV together. It was one of these moments when, for a short time, everything is fine, everything is ok, everything is good. And this is the basic message of this song: When you are in love, there can be moments that are just quiet and beautiful – and which you will remember forever, regardless of their actual duration.

3. You are a diamond:

What would falling in love be without the admiration of the beloved? It is an ancient tradition to write songs for this purpose; the bard singing at the window of the lady of his desires comes to mind. This song falls into this category, it tells us about the uniqueness and beauty of the beloved woman, and points out the intrinsic inability of words and music to accurately describe true love by saying “still I can only try to describe what you mean to me, you’re more, you’re so much more than I can sing”…

4. Child within:

Sometimes you fall in love slowly, without consciously realizing it. You get to know someone, you become friends, have good and bad times together, you spend more and more time together – and all of a sudden, the person means more to you than you would like to admit to yourself – to your inner child, in this case. This song is a proclamation of love in such a situation, the lyrics are a dialog with the beloved who has until now “just” been a very close friend. But as much as you would like to stay in the “friend-zone”, your inner child won’t allow you to – you have fallen in love, admit it to yourself and your beloved, because you can’t go back to the way things were…

5. Caterpillar:

Love can be so pure and innocent that you have trouble believing your own feelings because the way you describe them to yourself sounds tacky in your ears, whereas at the same time you know that it is not because your feelings are real – it’s just that you have not had this kind of experience before, so when you had heard something like it in the past, you had thought it was exaggerated, ridiculous – until now, when you find out it can be that intense, that deep, that beautiful. Then you start to dream about the beloved other, but you don’t even go as far as actually picturing yourself together realistically, no, that is far beyond your wildest dreams – you just dream about the person, picture her face, wish her all the luck, love and success she can have – and perhaps that one day, maybe in another life, after your pupation, you can be together…

6. How could I ever have hurt you:

It happened. You made a decision with your mind against your feelings, you thought you were doing the right thing, and you had convinced yourself it was necessary. But it was not. It was a mistake. You were mistaken. You consciously hurt someone you love deeply, and thereby naturally hurt yourself. The damage is done, and everyone is suffering. And although somewhere deep inside you, you know it is in vain, you are begging for forgiveness, begging for redemption. But it is not coming. It will never come. And even if your beloved forgive you eventually, it is much harder to forgive yourself.

7. Why can’t I forget you?:

It has been quite some time since you are separated, and you thought that you are over it – but then, deep at night, the small candle flame that you thought you had extinguished forever is suddenly rekindled and burns more brightly than ever, and you hurt. You hurt, because you know it doesn't make any sense. There is no more hope, it’s long over, it’s in the past. But the feelings linger on, and they burn like acid. For some reason, a part of you still can’t let go. All you can do is wait – and suffer.

8. Tuesday Morning:

There is somebody in your life you know very well. You are a bit attracted, but it is nothing serious. Suddenly, all your friends start telling you that you act as if it was serious, but you don’t see it. You just enjoy the time you spend together, the long talks, the laughter, the fun – and then, on a Tuesday morning like any other, you wake up and: boom! It’s there, all of a sudden you feel it, you realize it – and all of a sudden, the things that were so pleasurable before have a new emotional component – a longing that was not there before, and the moments become bitter-sweet as you realize that this shift has happened only to you…

9. The purest you:

Sweet love, young love, innocent love, shy love. It’s there, it is beautiful, it’s warm, but you are barely able to admit it to yourself, let alone your beloved. You are still so shy, and it is so new to you, that you are rather using metaphors than actually saying what you are feeling. And you see that in the significant other, there is a small reflection, a recognition of your feelings, but similarly timid, and hidden very deep. And you hope that someday you might get to that purest core the glimpse of which you are enjoying so much.

10. Wonderful beautiful:

Romanticizing, fantasizing – you are in love and you know it. You like it. You enjoy it. You are engulfed in an ocean of romantic feelings, carried by waves of pleasure, and you (think you) know: This is it! There is no question about it, this is love, and you like it. You dwell on it. You live it. You are it. You believe it. The significant other is the key to your emotional satisfaction, you see the divine beauty, nothing less.

11. Sugar Refinery:

This is about love, but from a distance, cooler, a bit detached, tongue-in-cheek. The lyrics do express a deep connection and a longing, emphasizing the constant presence of your beloved within your thoughts, emotions, and experiences, even to the point of absurd exaggeration. The imagery of stars, rain, and encounters with everyday objects serves as reminders of your beloved’s presence, evoking feelings of love and sweetness. Nevertheless, it is a perspective from someone who knows desire and yearning but does not suffer from it, catering to the blues clichés, looking at the whole diverse, colorful mix of emotions from a safe, stable island amidst the ocean of the typical sky-high rejoicing and despairing to death, looking at the whole situation with a smile on your face.

12. A Winter’s Tale:

One of the first songs I ever wrote, I guess I must have been no older than 16 or 17. It is about the desire to share your life with a beloved one, to walk the path together. You walk through a wintry landscape, live the emotions experienced within it, and pray for divine intervention. Your loneliness is portrayed as a cold and frozen world, the hardship of navigating through barren woods, and the internal struggles of despair and anger. And you implore for solace, urging your beloved one to gaze into your eyes to find comfort, fulfillment, and redemption in your gaze - a timid expression of a young heart’s desires.

13. King of Winters:

This is a song I wrote for one of my sons when he was five years old, and he told me what the lyrics should be about A wintry scene with ice, snow, and a tranquil atmosphere, with a powerful and majestic figure, the "king of winters", a dragon who represents strength and stillness. This imagery is then expanded upon and applied it to the inside, where I offer comfort and reassurance to my son in case he should ever experience an inner winter, assuring him that he is not alone and promising to provide support during times of loneliness. The mention of an icy dragon as a metaphorical pet implies that we always have the ability to control and overcome our challenges. The song concludes with a message of hope, emphasizing that darkness will give way to a new beginning and that all pain will eventually fade away.

14. Time to Say Goodbye:

Did you ever have a on/off relationship where you were never certain whether your partner actually wanted you or not? A situation where you invested time, effort and energy into a person only to get disappointed, then get solace, only to be disappointed again? A situation where you were on fire, but your beloved did not really know whether she wanted you or not? If you have, then you know the feeling that at some point it is enough, you just quit! The feeling of freedom you get from that action, from that realization, is tremendous – no fears, no expectations anymore, no waiting, no pain – what never really started is now finally over, and you rejoice in your newfound freedom, it is time to say goodbye – what a relief!