Track By Tracks: Frust - Recurring Dreams (2019)

1. To the Bone (Intro):

I had this track on my harddrive for a long time, actually it was a tryout with some synths for a videogame-project from a friend. I didn't even know I still have it on my Computer, while recording "Recurring Dreams" I found it again, and thought it would be the perfect intro. It´s a bit spooky, a has this fuzz and distortion and is partly totally overdriven. I like the cold atmosphere and that nervous flickering/crackling, paired with that heavy bells and drums. It´s a bit of "I can't stand that much longer"...and then

2. Recurring Dreams:

Starts, with a very repetitive, hypnotic and simple riff. This song was the first i 've written for the album and means a lot to me. I am struggling with a general anxiety disorder since about 2001, and I 've tried to put my fears and panic-attacks but also the relief from it into my songs on that album. So it has that spooky beginning, and that "I can't stand it much longer"-riff, that repeats, and repeats, and has this tension, and maybe a little bit of feeling like being trapped, underlined by my vocals, spoken words. I wanted to create a nightmare, the repeating first part, is not because I am lazy, I really wanted to feel the listener that recurring fear and anxiety, before it finally comes to the last part of the song, a relief, a sweet almost clean guitar, a bit airy, and some softer drums. Like I 've said in an interview some months ago, I want to go with my listeners to some really dark places, but also show them the sunlight. 

3. Sfrawd Dica:

The funny part of Sfrad Dica is that many people didn't get the title. Some thought "oh it´s maybe german too, like "Hoffnung" or "Verfall" or some kind of other language. It´s just "Acid Dwarfs" written backward. I 've never consumed acid, but as a friend pre-listened the first part of the song, that oriental influenced riff, he said "wow that's like jumping hobbits on acid", and I instantly had that dwarf in my mind, that work in some mine and party hard haha let their hammer circle while jumping. I could really feel that dark and hot, moist climatic atmosphere there in that mine, and the drugged dwarfs that celebrate their rough, wild party down there, hammering at rocks, and going crazy. Till that synth break stops the chaos for a while and like calming down, but still have this menacing mood, till it goes crazy for the last time and ends in this sad, mysterious little melody that gave me chills their first times I was listening to it.

4. Earth:

Earth was already on my EP "Elements" and I wanted to remix and rerecord some parts of the song because I really love it and I 've learned a lot about mixing and mastering within the time between that two records. It was one of the first songs I 've ever done for Frust and it exactly that dark/light theme that I still love. It also has that nature-related title, as one of the elements, earth is definitely the one I am lacking most. The calm, the grounding, the patience, all that stuff that is related to earth, is what I am very bad at. That song also has a very slow beginning, the bass-notes paired with the female vocals, mean to be the slow and deep sound of the earth and Gaias singing. The slow part with added synths, for me, is like nightfall on this track, before it goes to the more heavier part which turns the song faster, but not really much heavier. For me that stands for the movement, earth and time are turning for everyone, sometimes slower, sometimes faster. I think the song also let people feel comfortable, at least I hope, I wanted to put in that trust, that primordial trust in the earth, the universe, the beeing.

5. Hoffnung:

Hoffnung means Hope in german, and the sound on that track, which is my most black metal influence on this record, isn't very hopeful, right? "Hoffnung" is about a soldier in WW2 that lies wounded in one of the countless trenches somewhere in Europe and cries. Before that happens in the chorus there is this stomping, marching, vers. The vocals are saying "Aim! Fire!" and also in german "Zielt! Feuert!" and some "Kills" are in it too. I didn't want to give the soldier a nationality because it happened on both sides for sure. I didn't want to make a song about how the allies beating up Nazi-Germany or vice versa. I wanted to pick a human beings tragedy, getting orders, aim! fire! kill! before the scream that leads to the chorus brings him to cry out his pain and still hope. The English Translation of the chorus is: "With hope in your heart, you´re crying for love - with hope in your pain, you´re crying for freedom - with desire in your heart…. and fear" Herz and Schmerz - Heart and pain are rhyming perfectly in german, so I sang some overtones and mixed the chorus up with two of the lines a bit delayed. I am doing very minimalistic vocals at least on "Recurring Dreams" it will be more on the coming album next year. and I wanted to keep it minimalistic when it comes to the lyric too. I 've tried to understand such a situation a little bit, I cant and I am glad I never was into one, but I know fears well, and also pain. So I was thinking about, what my soldier could have cried out, wounded and far away from home, and I thought two of the most essential things that would come to my mind would be about my loved ones, and also love as a bigger term, like maybe also the disbelief into love from humans for humansis at this darkest time, and also the desire for freedom, and I think one can't exist without the other. There cant hardly be love for life without freedom, and no freedom without loving people. So, as the track is pretty much dark, there is still this spark out there that hasn't lost all hope.

6. Vita Somnium Breve:

The Latin title means "Life is a short dream", and yeah I wanted to create a dreamy, relaxing atmosphere showing the good times in life, ok, the song is pretty much melancholic, but melancholy gives me a great feeling of being safe, much more than it gives me sadness, sure, it´s a fine line between those two for me. While recording and working on that song, I've listened to it for many hours, and sometimes when I stopped it was really pretty much like awakening after dreaming a long time.

7. Call of Madness:

Call of Madness was the second song I made for this album, along with the title-track, and for its structure, it´s a bit similar. I wanted to give the listener an impression of what it feels like, hmm or kinda, going from anxiety to panic, almost mind losing experience. This song has a lot of noises and has that rough and chaotic production for this reason. There's a small riff, where everything else is missing, except the drums and well the guitars, it feels a bit lost, and unsudden and chaotic again, and yeah, welcome to my world haha. Also, that drone is a very well known sound when it comes to panic and anxiety. Also, the pacing between slow and very fast is how feelings are coming and going while a panic attack. As I feel it most, it starts slow, and then even little things, like the tv, people talking, even birds singing, all that noises and pictures are going to get faster, louder, scarier, like a totally overdose of impressions, and than what you hear gets duller and duller, before it starts to get louder and chaotic.

8. Frei im Traum:

The title is german again and means "to be free in your dream" and yeah, that song starts very calm and even as it goes heavier within the next minutes it´s dreamy, almost meditative, but has this forward-attitude, at least I hope that listeners feel that too. otherwise, I love how people are interpreting my instrumental Songs. For me, this song has also a lot of hope in it but is also very melancholic. I 've written it in autumn, my favorite time, I love seeing the year decays more and more, trees are going changing their color to brown, red, gold, the air smells different than in summer or spring. It started to get my favorite song on the album, and I regret a bit, that I haven't made a longer version of it at is was originally planned. It´s like the title says a lot about being free, dreaming, very melancholic again I guess, but calming and securing. It´s one of the good recurring dreams ;)

9. Till Dawn Redeems Me:

This song is also a very early one, the first idea as I was planning "Recurring Dreams" was thematizing the stages of the nighttime, from dawn till dawn, including midnight, and so on, but later I decided to get more general with the recurring dreams Topic. But till dawn redeems me has that phases of a dream-filled night too. It starts slow, but not very cozy, and starts to get heavier soon, the more relaxed parts still having a bit of tension. I loved to play with synths on that, it´s a bit of a try to get some The Cure vibes into my music because I really love them, still, it´s an instrumental. It was my favorite track for a long time, I can't really explain why, and it wasn't from the start. I haven't heard it for a few months, because it was a very early song and I was satisfied with it like it was and is today, after a few months, I listened to it again, and was surprised how much I liked it, that was also the time when it got its name. It felt like experiencing a long dream, containing nightmares, sweeter dreams, and very mixed emotions. I have heard from some people that normally listening to electronic music, that they like it very much, even it isn't their genre. I love the last minute, which actually is 2/3 of the song, it´s so calm and has that overdriven lead-guitar parts, combined with the clean ones.

10. Verfall:

The name of this song means "Decay" in german and is my longest song till today. I ve written on that song when I wasn't in a good mood, it was winter, i felt like it will go forever (and this year it really did in austria, we had snowy days till may). This song had lyrics as i started workin on it, but later i ve decided against them, and against singing, instead i wanted to make a long almost meditative song, that leaves the listener with a good feeling. Even from decaying, or specially from, something good can turn out of the ashes, so i thought that would be a good ending, from the ashes of recurring dreams, will rise a new album, which will be a bit more positive as far as i can say, now that i ve written the first half of it. The song should take you as a listener, from a sad, repetitive mood, to a more hopefull, and than heavier almost a bit angry part before it come more and more hopefull, and almost satisified or a bit euphoric in the end. It´s mostly "to get over things" meant...like "Hey i had such a bad time in the beginning, and it turned out, on that pile of shit, in the end, there grows a lovley flower" :) Darkness and a bit of sunshine again :)